Unspoken Words...

I don't have much more details other than "it was more than 59 Hours" about the terrorist attack of Mumbai happened last week. Again this week, sound of gun shots scare people at the Indira Gandhi International Airport Delhi. Thousands of peoples were killed by this kind of terrorist attack in last few years. General people of this nation are scared. Scare to go out in the road; scare to outing with family. Is this something new we are fighting with? Hmmm..... I try to collect things. And the answer come to my mind is "No". India has a long history of external attacks. External forces always try to capture our nation, our wealth. But they won't able to change our culture, our believes, our trust and our spirit.

Yesterday, means Friday 05^th December 2008, I was on my way to home. Sealdah station, one person sited beside me, an average looking guy of age around 25. He was carrying a bag. Umm, the bag was slightly bigger than average daily passenger. Sure, this person is not a daily passenger. Suddenly, he put his bag on the sit and asked me to watch it. He said, he will come back within a moment after purchasing some foods. First question came into my mind was "Should I trust this person?" and next "Why not?" We used to trust people, we used to trust humanity, we believe on words and most importantly we have faith on our believes from the core of our soul. Obviously, I go with our culture; a more than 3500 year old culture. Some of you may have different opinion about my decision, but the outcome was not harmful at all for that scenario.

At night, when I was thinking about the situation, the question became more complex. Does those militants succeeded in their intention? Is this war is against our administrative bodies or against our culture? Do they able to break our spirit (spirit of loving each other)? "Answers?" - We need to decide; "We" the warrior of this "Mahavarat".

Each and every human has some negative emotions. I am not different either. However, I always try to minimize (Avoid is quite impossible) THE driver of these negative emotions; the driver I am talking about is "Ego". Any way this write-up is not about the driver, it is about one of its outcome. Being Selfish i.e. you are too much concerned about yourself and it prevents you from doing right things in right moment. Sometime it hurts others sometime it restricts you from helping others.

Now, come to my story. It happened today November 14^th, 2008. I got news that our result is published. I finished my work quickly and hurried towards my campus. I found I got quite a decent score as expected (Because my exam was very good). First thing came to my mind was that check the scores of those person who could compete me for the position. Quickly check all those scores to determine my position in our discipline. Wow I am in top three. I was so much concentrated about me and my score that I forgot to inform all of my friends about the news and their scores. Even I did not note down their marks. Though I collect information about some of my very very close friend but forgot about most of the others who are expecting something more from me. Even I did not realize the fact unless I got the phone call from one of them asking me whether I knew the news or not. I had no answer, no explanation to give; at least to me. "I really forgot you my friend!!!" is the only explanation I could give to myself.

You may thing, what the silly thing I am thinking about. I also tried to support myself by this explanation. But at the end of the day I am not happy. Actually, I am "I AM" because of others; if you remove them from my life I become nothing. Yes it is true. True for each and every individual of the world.

It was almost 11:00 A. M. August 5th, 2008. I was on my way to office. I caught last Barrackpore local from Barrackpore station and sat beside the window. All of a sudden I found a boy of 6 to 7 years old, shouting to one of his friend coming towards the train. Both of them are from Barrackpore Ramakrishna Mission. The first one is in class 1 and other one is in class 3. Every day they travel by that train and also in that compartment.

After they settled with their sitting arrangement a little chat caught my attention further. One of them was showing marks he obtained to their guardian. I saw the notebook; it was something like he got 82, 84, 87... ... ... but he was telling that he got above 40 within 50. I amazed! What is going on then? He clarified that he used two different languages to note down his marks? The first one was in Bengali digit (4) and then English digits. His explanation in this context was "The first one I write by mistake then do not change subsequent ones to make it consistent" Nice logic.

In the meantime the train started. They were eagerly waiting, specifically the junior one, for their uncle (probably they meet him in this train only). Uncle join from the very next station. I could see the happiness in his expression when he saw that the uncle came and sat just beside him. Their demand is so little and joy is so high. I can remember my sheer happiness when I draw a cow with my pencil, when I got a story book as a prize for standing in my class, when I bind my new books. Today the things are quite different; by the rules of nature, I am not that cute boy any more. By the rule of nature, my interest changed. Though I understand that nothing I can do if something gone differently as per my expectation, still I expect. I could not believe that though I have more than I need I am not happy any more. Probably how less your expectation, is the parameter of the happiness. Any way those were boring thoughts that came into my mind in that time.

These two kids were playing different games. Very interestingly those games were quite knowledge sharing type. They must be very good student and quite intelligent too. They have their own world, their own topics for discussion. Their sweet conversation, their attitude, I could not resist to switch off my mp3 player. I looked through the window and I was totally surprised by the fact that their destination had already arrived. It was almost 40 minutes. They had to go now! When they approach to the exit of the train a simple smile towards me; probably just trying to say - Do you know me? I am you 16 years back.